Note to Self #1

What I'm thinking and feeling this week.

I’ve been keeping a diary again recently and decided that I’d share it here as an exercise in openness. A new writing experiment, if you will. I’m interested in what feels ‘too much’ to share through my writing, and why. I often backspace a lot of thoughts—even in my diary—that feel trivial, silly, embarrassing or unearned and wonder if committing them to paper will somehow transform me into a more confident, compassionate person, and a better writer.

I do still have some reservations (and like to keep some things special) so am going to be publishing my diary in a smaller space, exclusively for paid subscribers. Each week, you’ll get exclusive access to Note to Self, a post about what I’m thinking and feeling. Walk into my head! Take a stroll through the corridors! Open some doors, my friends! It takes about 5 mins to read and is my special, private corner of the internet where I tell you all my secrets. Here we go…

Argument with J over breakfast. Had asked, if we’d lived together during lockdown would we have broken up? He’d jokingly replied: of course. Held on to this for four days then burst in to tears. Feel awful for being the epitome of